Dallin's Surgery

I'm going to share a few things that I wrote in my journal the night before Dallin's surgery.

"I can't stop staring at Dallin's perfect face and crying. There are so many emotions I'm feeling right now. 

The first is gratitude...I'm thankful for modern medicine...that my boy will receive a working lip...I'm thankful that we got Dr. Urata for the surgery ( I did extensive research and he's literally the best craniofacial surgeon in the country)...I'm thankful for all the prayers that are being said on Dallin's behalf. There are literally hundreds of people praying for him, people putting his name in different temples, and also members of other faith's adding him to their prayer group...I'm thankful for Brother Kozikowski, Brent, Chad, and Walter for coming over to assist Scott in a blessing for Dallin.

The next emotion I'm feeling is sad...I don't like that he has to go through this, be away from me during surgery, and experience pain...I'm also really sad that he's going to look different. I've fallen in love with his sweet little face and his lips. I'm going to miss his cleft.

The worst emotion I'm feeling is scared...I'm scared of the surgery, the baby going under anesthesia, and any complications that might come after. Scott gave me a blessing, so now I'm choosing to have faith. "

The morning of his surgery was a long one. We got up around 5am to make the drive to Los Angeles. Once we got there, I took every second I had just staring at his face. I was taking it in as much as I could, because I was didn't want to forget how perfect he is. 

Saying good bye to him as they wheeled him in to surgery was one of the hardest things I've ever experienced. Then the 3 hour wait during surgery started out brutal.

Here's another excerpt of my journal on that day,

" They just took Dallin back for surgery and I'm a mess. I keep going in and out of crying. All I want to do is hold him. I weep at the thought that I'll never get to see his "old" lip again. 

With that being said, I'm sitting in a waiting room with other parents and children who are awaiting surgery. There are kids here who are suffering from far worse....

We're sitting next to 2 dads who are talking about their son's chemo treatments. That really put things in perspective for me. My kids are healthy, and I'm so grateful for that. I keep saying silent prayers for these poor kids who are suffering and going through so much. These doctor's and nurses are a different breed of people and are truly doing the Lord's work."

Finally, after 3 hours, I got to have my baby back in my arms!

What joy I felt!

And he's just as perfect as before!

I stayed the night in the hospital with him, and it was definitely the longest night of my life. I had to keep a log of every feeding and diaper change. Here's what my night looked like.

The next day we got to come home and he did wonderful. I only gave him Tylenol for the pain and he handles it like a champ!